Retroscope:Clash of Bad Hair, Frontal Nudity, Fantasy, and the 80’s sub-culture

By Jon Ortiz

Forgive me.  There will be no steamy Penthouse letter experience here, despite the horribly misleading title, this will bore you.  Remember the 1981 cult classic Clash of Titans ? The fantasy flick based on the myth of Perseus?  I mean, why wouldn’t you? You have a veritable who’s who of the greats of yesteryear, such magnificent thespians as Laurence Olivier, Maggie Smith, Ursala Andress, and uh Harry Hamlin.  Not teeming with excitement?  Well perhaps the films tag line “You will feel the power. Live the adventure. Experience the fantastic.” is enough to compel you to cram another needless addition to your cluttered Netflix queue.  This, my dear friends, is essential viewing.

In the early 80’s it was all about the death of Disco, birth of Heavy Metal, and Korg keyboards.  The sex, drugs, rock and roll mantra reigned supreme, and the films of the era oozed just that. Scarface , Fast Times at Ridgemont High
, and Valley Girl spring to mind.  Suddenly I want to swear profusely, smoke copious amounts of pot, and be a part of an absurd coming of age story.  This is when films were starting to break out of their shell, and began to reflect the excessive culture the 80’s brought with it.  Sign me up.  Fantasy was an unfairly derided sub-genre at the time (Until Conan the Barbarian and Arnold flipped the script in 1982, the year my ass entered this wonderful world), seeing as most of them were not very marketable.  Not like now, when everyone is spitting out a fantasy flick a week, most of which are horrendously bad.  Can you blame them? We just gobble this shit up, you have emo vampires, teenage wizards, and the shameless raping of every animated series I held dear in my childhood .

What happens next?  Desmond Davis ripped the film world apart with Clash of The Titans is what happened.  Probably the biggest feature film of his career, Davis was a TV luminary , and totally old school. MGM took the gamble, and Davis changed my life.  He showed that fantasy could be just as gritty as Tony Montana and a mountain of cocaine.  Nudity? Check. Decapitations? Check. Flying horses? Check.  It wasn’t afraid to be bold and fantastical at the same time.  This movie terrified me as a child ,thanks to Ray Harryhausen’s exceptional stop motion visual effects, and mesmerized me as an adult.  It’s everything you want in a fantasy flick: Hero has to come to the rescue of a city, get the girl, lose the girl, rescue the girl, and slay the enormous leviathan.  Are you kidding me?  This is the stuff of legends.  Let’s not even get started on the cast here. Laurence Olivier plays Zeus, and that’s exactly how I imagined him, a man so dignified he needs a throne.  Ursula Andress, gorgeous as ever, plays Aphrodite as only she could.  I detest cliches, but they just don’t make them like this anymore.

Today it’s all over-stylized CG nonsense, terrible casting choices, and sloppy directing.  My God, what happened to the charm, passion, the pizazz, blood, sweat, and tears of good fantasy? There are few this side of Jim Cameron and Peter Jackson who can claim they have retained the best of old, and fused it with best of the new. If I sound jaded, it’s because I am.  It’s okay, I’ll go to sleep, wake up, and wonder ‘What was I talking about?’ Clash of Titans was the last of its kind, a relic of old never to be forgotten once we “Experienced the fantastic.”  There has to be a foundation, and I believe Desmond Davis built it.  Desmond if you’re reading this, I would like to share a drink with you, shake your hand, and simply say thank you for providing us with such a rare classic.  They just don’t make them like this any more.

2 Responses to “Retroscope:Clash of Bad Hair, Frontal Nudity, Fantasy, and the 80’s sub-culture”

1. JC Loophole says:

   January 15, 2010 at 2:19 pm

   Hi Bacall- just stopping by to tell you that you have been awarded the Kreativ Blogger award. Details here.
2. Bacall says:

   January 16, 2010 at 6:17 pm

   Hi JC! Thanks so much! I better get working on my award winning duties. Thanks again!