I’ve often thought of the feuding sisters, Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine. They are now in their 90′s, and still do not speak to each other! So what happened? You’d think that after decades of ill feelings, they would have reconciled. But unfortunately in this instance, that is not the case. Back in the day this was news. Nowadays you don’t hear about it much, but most classic movie fans know of the story.
In 2008 The Academy of Motion Pictures let the cat out the bag for modern audiences. At the time the Academy was having a bash in honor of Bette Davis’ 100th birthday, another grand lady from a by-gone era. Joan and Olivia were invited to the gala since they were both Bette’s contemporaries. Olivia now living in Paris, declined the invite because the trip would be too long for her. Upon hearing her sister Joan would attend, she decided that the trip wouldn’t be too long after all. After all Bette was her friend, one she worked with in movies like “Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte.” Joan gets wind of this, and decides she isn’t going! And I thought time heals wounds, ah, not in this case. I find it ironic, that Bette is somewhat responsible for the latest skirmish. Remember Bette in “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” The macabre story of sibling rivalry comes to my mind. Of course, the story in “Whatever…” is way off base, and not the real life story of Joan & Olivia. Neither Joan, or Olivia ever lost their luster. And neither kept the other hostage and fed them dead rats, or intended to commit murder. But still I can’t help finding it all ironic.
Olivia and Joan both started off very young in Hollywood. Both rising stars at pretty much the same time. The bigger the success each got, the worse the feelings between them got. It became apparent that the raw emotions which divided the sisters stemmed from childhood. There has been other Hollywood feuds, but this feud is monumental and unique. Decades have come and gone and they still feel as if it happened yesterday.
They were the first sisters to win Oscars, and the first to be nominated for best actress in the same year. They were both very good at their art, and it seems to me, both competed against each other. In 1940 Joan was nominated for her role in Hitchcock’s “Rebecca.” The story goes that both wanted the part of the sweet and unworldly Mrs De Winter, but Joan got it. Joan lost in 1941 to Ginger Rogers. A sigh a relief for Olivia, but Joan grew more determined. Within a year, the sisters were in competition again. Joan was nominated for her role in Hitchcock’s “Suspicion,” her second role with Hitchcock. Olivia was nominated for her role in “Hold Back the Dawn.” Ginger Rogers presented the award that year, and Joan was the winner! Years later Joan said she froze as her name was called out, with her sister sitting next to her.
Joan wrote of that moment: Olivia said “Get up there,” & Joan burst into tears. All the resentments and jealousies of an uncomfortably shared childhood returned; “the hair-pulling, the savage wrestling matches, the time Olivia fractured my collar bone, all came rushing back in kaleidoscopic imagery. My paralysis was total … I felt age four, being confronted by my older sister. Damn it! I had incurred her wrath again.”
OK, so let’s just say we can pin point that what sealed the rivalry between the two sisters was “Rebecca.” That means that these two sisters have been pissed off with each other since Hitler invaded France. And if you take Joan’s account of when it all began (1920′s) they have been pissed since the Flapper cut her hair short and hemmed her dress! Here’s the kicker, in 1946 Olivia was nominated for her role in, “To Each His Own,” and Joan Crawford was supposed to present the award. Joan Crawford pulled out, and the Academy trying to make the two kiss and make up, had Fontaine present it to her sister.
You’d think, it was the moment of truth, love, and reconciliation. Not! Joan calls out her sister’s name, Olivia goes up to the podium, and the world watched as Olivia refused to shake Joan’s hand. Olivia won another Oscar in 1949 for her role in “The Heiress.” Love that movie!
Today these women are in their nineties. Olivia is the last surviving actor of “Gone with the Wind.” By-the-way, Olivia was nominated for her role as Melanie in “Gone..” but lost to Hattie McDaniel, the first black actress to be honored. I did hear say that although she lost to Hattie, she was happy that a black woman had been given the honor.
The saying, “truth is stranger than fiction,” comes to mind. In the movies all ends well, even with siblings that fight. But for these sisters, it’s too complicated, and nastier than the movies. Time is running out for both. I have to guess that these two will never reconcile. Sisters can be close, others can be distant, or competitive. But even the ones that are distant and competitive cares for the other. I grew up with 5 sisters, I know the dynamics in the “sisterhood.” We know how to get on each others nerves, what buttons to push, and how to bring out the worst in the other. It’s in our genes. But to be as these two are, the wounds are wide and deep. And only a God encounter, or just plain humility will bring them back.
Charles Higham wrote a biography of the sisters and he assessed it like this: “Olivia never got used to the idea of a younger sister. She would, apparently, rip up her old clothes that Joan was supposed to wear as hand-me-downs, forcing her to stitch them back together. Joan is said to have resented what she saw as her mother’s favoritism for Olivia.” Now take that and mix it up with Hollywood’s “dog-eat-dog” world and you get two very angry 90-year-old women wallowing in bitterness and resentment for decades. Not a movie, it’s real life. Sad.
13 Responses to “Feuding Sisters: Olivia de Havilland & Joan Fontaine”
My mother and her sister hadn’t spoken for decades. When my mother was in her early 70′s she wrote my aunt a letter apologizing for the “event” that brought the feud to the both of them. My aunt never answered the letter and, shortly afterwards, passed away. My mother followed not too long after. Actually, it surprised me that my mother was the one to write the letter.
Hi Marsha and thank you for dropping by. Unfortunately this happens a lot in families. As I pointed out in my post, I grew up with 5 sisters, and although we love each other, we’ve had our share of fights. There were times when one wouldn’t speak to another for a while, but with time, things got better. There are other cases, as your mom’s, which can never be mended for a number of different reasons. We can only hope your aunt forgave your mom. Thanks again!
A sad story. Truth is often stranger than fiction, and here is a prime example. My grandmother and her unmarried sister (who lived with their mother) were an extreme case of sibling hatred, although I never learned why. When their mother died, Grandma’s sister refused to let Grandma in to pay her last respects.
This nasty bit of karma carried over to the next generation. My mom lived 1800 miles away from Grandma, and Mom’s sister (who was estranged from Mom and in charge of Grandma’s finances), refused to let Mom know that their mother was ailing and also when she passed away. Mom only learned of it when she received a sympathy card from an old acquaintance weeks after the death. But there’s more. Over the years Aunt quietly had her mother’s property transferred to her own name, so when the will was probated, there was nothing left in the estate, not even a pin.
This is cautionary real life tale should serve as a heads up to feuding sisters everywhere, who don’t realize that their ongoing hatred is slowly distilling poison to the next generation.
My sister & I are well are on our way to becoming Olivia(her) to (my) Joan. She’s stolen money from me, even at my wedding and I’m sure I must do things to her too but I can’t really tell you what, perhaps that I have more money irks her?! We’re a year apart also, maybe that started the divide. We’ve learned to live without each other I assume Joan& Olivia have too…
Sorry, but you’ve got the facts wrong about the Academy incident.
It wasn’t Joan who presented Olivia with an Oscar. It was Ray Milland who had won the Best Actor Oscar the year before. Joan was at the awards as a presenter for something else.
And the incident happened backstage in darkness where Joan was waiting in the wings to congratulate her sister. A photographer happened to be present and caught the moment when Olivia recognized who it was and turned away from her, unable to forgive Joan for making a cruel remark about Olivia’s husband to the press and never apologizing.
Just wanted to set the record straight. It’s hardly likely that the two will ever be able to make any kind of reconciliation. The hurt is too deep on both sides.
Thanks for the correction, will research it further.
I think what makes this sibling rivalry so fascinating, aside from the fact that it’s been going on for so long, is that both of these legendary sisters are still alive, and could possibly reconcile if they chose to do so (which they obviously won’t…to reconcile, they would have had to at least been close at one point in time. Seems these two have always disliked one another).
Excellent write-up…very interesting.
This is so sad, they are both great actesses, they should kiss and make up, they’re so mature to acept it, but yes, it’s common, unfortunatley.
It’s also like me and my brother, I am one year older than him, just like Olivia to Joan, we also fight, but we love each other and I hope we don’t finish in the same situation
I also heard that Joan had to use the name Fontaine because the sister’s mother would not allow Joan to use the name De Havilland because she favored Olivia. Is that true?
I think I heard something along those lines as well, will look into it, and get back with you
Thanks for dropping by!
Olivia was gaining recognition in pictures utilizing the family name, de Havilland. Joan soon entered the industry with the intention of using her legal de Havilland name. There was a family conference in which it was decided that Joan was to use another name besides de Havilland. First, Joan with the help of her mother, decided on Joan Burfield and later Joan St. John. By 1937 however, she was billed as Joan Fontaine. Joan seemed bitter over the defection and has stated in interviewa that her name is Joan de Havilland and that Joan Fontaine an alter ego.
*interviews, correction.
@Texan Thanks for that information.